Last day of the year: am I gonna spend it on my own?

Perhaps I'll stay at home on Friday.
For i.e. I don't have any reason to celebrate and then I don't wanna spew all booze I could drink.
Probably I'll stay at home and then when you stay at home you can do all these things that you couldn't do some days ago 'cuz you didn't have time enough, don't you think so?
Then I don't wanna spend the last day of the year with people who doesn't really want me.
Oh I feel so lonely. I wish things will change soon.
I wish he comes back to me. 
I love him with all my butt, I would say heart, but my butt is bigger